Holding life with unclenched fists

What right now in your life could you not do without? Is it your house, car, favorite outfit, job, friend.
When you are feeling down or depressed where do you find comfort? Is it in food, complaining to other people, drinking, or anything else that soothes.
I heard from somewhere that you need to hold everything you have loosely. Do we hold everything we have loosely? Lately I have realized how tightly I have held things that I though I could not do without.
I wanted the newest car, now I don't really care. I wanted the trendiest shoes or clothes, now I don't even know what trendy is anymore.
I wanted my house a certain way and had all these grand plans to change. Why when I know it is way more than I need now and will ever need in the next 5 to 10 years.
My job was everything to me and my identity. A job is a job it does not say anything about who you are.
The one thing I am realizing that I had on the backburner that I could deal without before but since I have given him full access to my life I can't get enough is Jesus. His word is something I yearn for everyday. His voice is something I am starting to take the time for and search for throughout the day. He makes the troubles in life seem to be minor. The worries that I have are petty because he has a perfect plan.

Why did it take me so long to come to this? It has been many trials, many months of questioning and many failed attempts to funnel my passion into other things. The passion for those earthly things fade compared to learning from God.

Micromachines or Transformers, what would you rather have?

Are you a micromanager? Even if you don’t take all the credit could you still be one? Could your business run smoothly without you, or is it so dependent on you it would fall to shambles?

I have asked myself these questions in the last day as problems were getting flung at me left and right and was wondering what the heck has happened, what have I created. What is a manager supposed to do, and is a manager different than a leader?

I am trying to figure out if you can be a great manager and leader at the same time and that is one of the struggles I am dealing with right now.

What do you need to do as a leader to empower your employees and not micromanage?

1. Ask the right questions. Don’t ask yes or no questions ask for thought out answers.

2. Don’t always give them the answer. I know you might no what the correct answer should be but let them make the decision and make it their own.

3. Encourage. Be their cheerleader let them know what they are doing right.

4. Put them in positions to use their strengths. Each person has specific strengths. Find them and then make sure that they are using them.

These are the focuses a manager should have. You should not be the person who solves all the problems. You should be the person people come to when they have problems and you help them think of possible solutions.

Remember the days of playing with toys as a kid. What was more exciting to play with micromachines or transformers? Don’t treat your employees like micromachines. You need to bring out a lot more capabilities that that. You need to treat your employees as transformers who can solve problems and think of new solutions when prodded with the urgency and the right set of questions.

It is not about you as a manager. The best leaders are selfless and don’t care who gets the credit.

Waltonize your mind

Yesterday I went to many Garden Centers around the twin cities area looking at things to do and things not to do. In the past I have come back from these places and said we do this way better, we do that way better, they are overpriced. I would look at all of their warts and not focus on some of the things that they did good. A while back I read a story about the WalMart founder Sam Walton.
Walton went into a fellow discounter with another person. They went around looked at the whole store which was in disarray. When they got through the person with Walton said "can you believe how dirty and awful the whole store was." Walton couldn't stop talking about the pantyhose rack and how neatly it was setup. He got the information of the pantyhose rack, which was not real visible, and called the company and got that set up in Walmarts.
I go back to this story everytime I look at another place. Before I would go to a store and when I left I would beat my chest and say we are way better. Now I go in with a different set of eyes saying what one or two things can I use from this store to make mine better.
I have found myself doing that with people more and more to. Instead of looking at everybodies flaws I try to look at what they are gifted at or a quality they possess and compare it to how I am. When talking with people around me I try to make sure that their best gifts are magnified and they are working where they are most gifted.
Marcus Buckingham changed my thinking in his book "Now Break all the Rules." Saying it is hard enough to bring peoples strengths out so focus on doing that. There weaknesses will always be a weakness.
So when looking hard at things around you look hard for things that are positive. It may be hard in some places, but if you really want to maximize who you are and your company you owe it to yourself.

Keeping up or forgetting about the Jones'

I was reading through Seth Godin's blog on More vs. Enough
it reminded me about what had been going on in my life.
We always want more and usually more comes at the cost of something that is great for us now.
When is enough enough?, when is wanting more good and when is it greedy?
Aren't we as Christians taught to want more in using our gifts to the best of our abilities and making sure the "more" of what we want is in Christ.
At a church service I attended the man who gave the message talked with great passion about how we are never satisfied with what we have. Whether we are rich and want a nicer car, house, you name it. Or whether we are poor and want to become like the rich. We are so consumed with what is next and the next best "toy" we can get that we don't appreciate the now. When is it going to be enough?
Right now in my life I don't feel like I need anything more. Do I want to finish of my basement, maybe, do I want a new patio out back, not right now. Do I want a new TV, no because I know that it might become an "idol" for me. Out of all the things listed which of them really matter? Am I going to receive happiness from any of them? Am I going to keep wanting more?
Most of the times when I am not happy with something it is because I see someone else that has it and if they have it why can't I.

What brings you "joy" in life?

I have had this conversation with many people and it varies. I challenge where your joy is that is where your heart or in some cases your "idol."

In the past week I have found joy in talking with people about what life is really about. It has challenged me and brought a lot of joy to my life. Last week my joy was in really studying the scriptures for hours and applying it to my life.

My challenge is everyday to ask myself what brought me the most "joy" and why?

Wait to Worry

Why do we spend so much time worrying about what is going to happen? In a previous blog I talked about how we spend most of our life reacting to things that have happened. Throughout the last couple of days I have realized that we spend probably over half of our time worrying about what might happen or could happen. We worry and jump to conclusions about what did happen with our own reasoning without knowing the whole story.

Wait to Worry.

Don’t react to things respond to them.

We spend half of our life drawing conclusions and reacting instead of waiting to know the facts and truly understanding the situation so we can respond. In the past week I have talked to many people who have jumped to conclusions about people. These are some of the situations: Someone worrying about what is going to happen, why somebody isn’t calling them back, why that decision was made. In all the situations I said to them and myself “don’t react wait to know the whole scope of the situation.”

In our house church this week we talked about the commandment though shalt not murder. Well murder is not just murder, it is talking about other people behind their back, tearing them down, and not putting people in their best light. When we jump to conclusions we do that and usually tell quite a few other people.

I have had many good talks with people in the last week because I have made the time. By making the time I have been able to reverse some of the conclusions in my own mind and sort out what the truth is.

Adjustments with your Pearly Whites

I read somewhere 10% of life is what happens to us and 90% of life is how we react to it. In the last couple years I have come to realize it is more like 5%/95% split. We make more out of what happens to us by not controlling our thoughts. A couple of years ago I was miserable in what I was doing and I kept convincing myself of that everyday and that there was nothing I could do about it. So every morning I would struggle to get out of bed and dread another day of something I convinced myself “stunk.”

When situations happen you need to try remove yourself from the situation and look at it from above. Take your feelings out of it and understand the whole realm of the situation not from your perspective but from a 3^rd person perspective.

What gets me sometimes, and I have been just as guilty as anyone, is not feeling like doing something so I just don’t. You can never feel your way into feeling like doing something but you can do your way into feeling like doing something. I have found that over and over. Just buckle down and get things done.

The other day I had a case of the feeling sorry for myselfs again and dreading things. I decided that I was in control and that I needed to change my thoughts. I went back to all the things I read about being positive and tried to boil it down to a few things. Finally it came to me just stop complaining SMILE. The weird thing is the moment I did that it changed my outlook, even though it was forced. When you talk on the phone they tell you to smile it changes your tone of voice. This week why don’t you try smile throughout the week, people are drawn to people who smile and have joy.

Attitudes around you are contagious. Is yours worth catching?

See what happens when you smile for a day straight. It takes less muscles to smile than frown so what do you have to lose.

Passions & Goals

What are your passions and goals? That was a question posed to some friends the other night. The responses varied between everywhere between being in the word more to caring more to enjoying life. I am on a mission to find what my goal and passion in life.

About 4 months ago I was sitting around at a meeting with a bunch of people and we were asked what our passions were and what we would love to do. I thought hard and at the time I said I want to help people be the best they can. What does that mean.

To me what I am passionate about and what excites me is new ideas and new ways of doing things. The biggest question I keep asking in everything is why. Why do we do it that way? Why can’t we do this? Why not expect more?

Very few people in this world question why we do things. Many people are just fine punching the time clock, going home and not worrying about work. I love to go home and think about work and new ways of doing work. How can we set ourselves apart. I love change. I was talking with a coworker today about how I view change and how he does. I said I don’t want to be good I want to hit a home run and do something no one else has ever done. If equated to poker, I am ready to go all in hand after hand and double my bet.

My passion is finding new ways of doing things. There is always a better way and I want to find it. Once I find better ways I want to share with people those ways so they can be more successful.

Honesty and Trust

Honesty

What is honesty and what does it have to do with you as a person. Stephen Covey in the book “Speed of Trust” said that he gets up to his alarm every morning without hitting snooze because that is trust. Trust happens when you do what you say you are going to do. So are people who dream and have all these big plans untrustworthy?

Trust and honesty to me have to do with your intentions. Trust is something that I have talked with people about. I have different views with some on trust. Some people say you just need to trust the other person and not ask questions. I believe trust is asking questions and trusting the other person has their best intentions in mind. In “Five Dysfunctions of a team” by Patrick Lencioni he is a firm believer in this.

I have had to change my views on trust in the last year. I used to hate it when people would tell me that I offended them or did something wrong. I then realized I should be happy that they are telling me these things instead of telling someone else.

Trust has a lot to do with honesty also. Are you honest in everything you do. I have asked myself that question. I used to do little things to cheat and win in card games then I asked myself “why do you do that?” The answer was to win. Is winning that important and if winning is that important in cards will that translate over into cards. When you golf do you keep accurate score even when no one else will know? I have been striving to be honest in everything so you never have to worry about something you said before and cover lie after lie.

Honesty and trust will lead to integrity which is doing what is right even when no one is looking.

Joining Triiibes

The other day I was looking at a few marketing blogs like I love to do and I came across an offer from Seth Godin to prebuy his book and join a group called triiibes. I hadn't looked at his blog in a couple of weeks and I saw the post about 6 hours after he posted it. I jumped on the opportunity bought the book and joined the tribe. It has been interesting meeting different people that are excited and passionate about what is going on. I am hoping that through this I get to meet more passionate people. I have already talked to John Jantsch after reading his duct tape marketing book and am excited about the other people I can share ideas with.

"Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation." ~ Oscar Wilde

This is one of the things I have been working through in the past year of not being content(in a good way). I am looking for other people and ideas that are different. I want to surround myself with people who will not allow me to be stagnant and stale but to never be content and use the gifts I have been given.