The Blame Game

Why is it when something goes wrong we go right into blaming? When you start having a negative attitude you blame the people around you? When something doesn't go quite right you blame it on someone else? Why don't we just take responsibility?
I know when I think of blamers I can usually think of a few people I know but I would never think of myself. But lately I have been reading Marshall Goldsmith's book "What Got you here won't get you there."
He has 20 rules that we should look into to get to the next level. Some of them you really don't think about until someone points them out to you. Last night I wrote down some things I have read in the book to work on. One was not to win too much by using the words no, but, or however. Today while playing cards my mind had to do a total double take. We were playing 6 person pitch and my team got the bid. We had it in the bag and should have taken all the tricks and one the game. Well the first teammate layed the card worth the most points and my other teammate assumed(make an a** out of you and me) was going to lay her high card so I threw a low card. Well turns out she didn't and right away in my mind I am blaming her instead of seeing that it was just as much my fault if not more my fault because I played after her. Isn't it crazy how your first instinct is to blame. I had to step back from the situation and reminisce to what I read. It really changed my outlook and I took some of the blame, where I should have just took it all. C'mon at least I took some of it which is a pretty big step for me.
I feel like when I am tired and being too negative and talking about others and not honoring the absent is when I fall into the blame game.
So for the next 2 weeks I am going to work at taking the blame and apologizing. Boy, I better get started, and you better too.

No Pain No Gain

Today I was reading a blog on How sometimes we have to go counter to our instincts. Early this week I read on how we as people think that we can do things with out failing and being uncomfortable. How do we ever expect to come up with something truly original or truly thought provoking enough to create a breakthrough if we don't experience some discomfort?
In the past couple of weeks I have been through ups and downs and looked at my life and how seemingly effortless and easy it was before I started to think and question things. I thought about how I spent my time, why I believed what I believe, why I did what I did.
I went from being a sports fanatic who couldn't get enough to looking at what does it really matter? Does it make me a better person? Does anyone care I know every Chicago Bull, Oakland Raider, and Los Angeles Dodger from the past 10 years.
I went from looking at people who didn't have cable thinking they were crazy. And now I am one of those crazy people. I decided to read instead. I decided to step out and be different, not just to be different, but to try to make a difference. I decided I didn't want a going through the motions life in comfort and decided to add some discomfort.
I know I am looked as working too much or thinking too much or trying too many different things. But I would rather be that than the flipside.
What do you want to do with your life? Are you afraid of failure? I know at one time I was, but now I say bring it on because it can only be a great learning opportunity. The next pain I have to work on now is excercising, wish me luck.

Learn, Relearn, and learn again.

Everything happens for a reason you can either choose to ignore it or ask what that reason is and try to learn from it.

I read this recently in the book "The Energy Bus." It caused me to sit back and think a little bit and how I do not do this enough. When something happens I just plow forward and keep going to the next thing then plow forward again and on and on I go. To get past this and actually learn from this you need to take the time to learn. It is essential that you learn from your mistakes and successes. I don't know what works best for you, but for me it has been journaling about what happened throughout the day and realizing why I was frustrated or why I was excited. I try to make note of what energized me, who frustrated me and why, and anything else I needed to do.
It is much easier to do this when you have the time and everything runs a lot smoother. Before spring I did a great job doing this but as the year went on it got worse and worse. Not because I didn't have time but because I didn't make time. The early victories were the thing of the past and I became too focused on what was in front of me than what was around me. Are you aware of everyone and everything around you more than you are what is in front of you? What is more important: your to do list or your people? Look back on a daily basis but also look back weekly, monthly, and yearly to figure out patterns and learn from them.